“Matthew, this is awesome!” I yelled. I raised my voice over the sound of the motor, the wind in my ears and the waves breaking on the boat. “Mom and Hope are going to be so jealous!” he exclaimed in return. “I know!” The Dragon Boats weren’t open for another half hour or so, so as Matthew and I walked around the still empty harbor, we spotted a Water Taxi docked, just about to leave. We ran to catch it, and here we were just two guys riding in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. It was the first summer-like day of the year, the clouds had broken and the sun was already bearing down in the still cool and clammy air. The warm breeze met our faces and my heart surged as Matthew pointed out the Aquarium, the ships and looked excitedly at his map.
This morning when Mom and I met with Mrs. Morris, and you played out in the playground with your friends I was met once again with the immense pride of a parent. My heart overflowed with emotion as your teacher gladly updated us on how you were doing, and just when I started to feel my eyes well up I looked over at Mom and saw that hers were already glistening with the same joy I felt. I tell you every day, and I make you repeat it. I love you. And I’m proud of you. Because if nothing else, if you remember me by no other words, by no other action or no other memory I want you to know this above all. I love you. And I’m proud of you. I know you were disappointed that you guys didn’t go to Washington DC when we were away on our pilgrimage. And I’m so proud of how you handled it, and told Mamom and GeeDee that it was OK. But I know you’ve felt it, as you’ve mentioned here and there. Quietly, and without whining. Same with the Nature Center. So, today since you didn’t have classes and we had the day free with just you and me, I decided it would be great to have another Matty and Daddy day.
Matthew was born shortly after I became licensed as a Registered Nurse. He ended up being in the NICU where I worked, but only for two weeks. But the great blessing was that the day I finished my orientation and preceptorship, the day I became a fully independent nurse in the very unit that William was stayed in for so many months, was the day that Matthew came home. Since I was still a new grad, and new hire I wasn’t yet able to take my Family Leave. So Jen stayed home and after a year, I was able to do the same. And soon after, I always arranged my schedule so that I had Fridays off. And for a while, Fridays were always Matty & Daddy Day.
Remember Matthew? I don’t know if you do. The first time we started classes at Gymboree you crawled as fast and as far as you could. The freedom with all of that space, the stuff to climb on and all the toys were a huge wonderland compared to our small house in Claremont. And then soon we added, then stayed only with our Fridays at My Gym in LaVerne. I was usually the only dad, but it was there that you learned to balance, jump off things and dance like the maniac you have always been.
“You’re really good at reading maps!” the lady complimented. “A lot better than some of our passengers”, another man added. We were about to dock at Fells Point, and change taxis to go and visit Ft. McHenry. The whole way you had nearly pestered them about where we were, what direction we were going, and what numbers on the map corresponded with the landmarks we passed, or docks we were going to. And the rest of our Water Taxi adventures, it was just me and you. Waiting with your legs hanging over the edge at Ft. McHenry, or the two of us leaning on the rail at the front of the boat when we had it all to ourselves on the way back. The hot dogs, the lemonade. Then even putting on our life preservers and finally paddling our way around the harbor in the much anticipated Dragon Boat. You laughed like crazy when I peddled too fast and water came in and around my feet. And you found it hilarious when I said there was water in my seat and around my butt. And it may sound silly, but I really did love having lunch with you. Milkshakes and fries and all.
After I taught class that night, you opened the door and called out that you had something you wanted to show me. You and your sister were already in your pajamas when I came in, and you wanted me to join everyone upstairs. After you told Mamom and GeeDee about the day, I could see your eyes droopy with sleep, your face already serious but you had something you really wanted to do.
Using the mini-rosary with only one decade that we got him from Lourdes, Matthew really wanted to pray the rosary. I was shocked as he knew most of the Apostles Creed, and was both surprised and warmed to hear him say and lead the Our Father and Hail Mary’s himself. I had no idea. And when we finished one decade, he wanted to do one more. I for sure, and not the best role model of Catholic life. And I can only credit the Grace of God, through the continuing intercession of Mary that maybe the Holy Spirit continues to bathe us with It’s presence, with her mercy and His love.
I love you. And I’m proud of you.
“The true wealth of a nation lies not in it’s gold or silver but in it’s learning, wisdom and in the uprightness of its sons.” – Kahlil Gibran
The Marana Family 